Blog: Quiet by Jessie Close

I just came in from a short walk into the woods with my three dogs.  Snitz and Uno took off across the creek and came back muddy as hell. Woofie, my old guy, kept near me.  I just gave Uno a bath and he’s charging around the house, back and forth as fast as he can go.  Doggy hairdryer. Snitz is out on the woodpile, hunting, and Woofie is watching Uno.

I kicked myself for not bringing my camera with me on our walk.  A bank of small aspen trees, their trunks twisted and beautiful, held branches covered with yellow and green leaves.  The path into the woods was littered with leaves; blood red and yellow.  The crab apples on my trees by the house seem more brightly red than they were a week ago.  I’m surprised bears haven’t come into the yard to eat the apples.  Perhaps they give bears stomach aches also.

It’s almost the time of the year when I stop walking into the woods.  I’m scared of bears, any kind of bears.  Last year I found bear scat next to the path and very close to my house.  Yikes!  If I had a big dog I think I’d feel safe while walking in the woods, but I don’t.  My little dogs are good alarm bells but that’s about it.  One swat of a bear paw would send them flying.

I just returned from a week on the road and am grateful for this place of mine.  Traveling from here is not easy but coming home to here makes it worthwhile. 
I’d like to promote quiet environments for those of us who are mentally ill.  I understand that many of us live in cities, noisy cities.  I noticed, when I was on the road in a city, that the fan that ran in my room made it possible for me to sleep.  The ‘white noise’ blocked out everything.  I’ve seen gadgets that  supply you white noise.  Believe it or not, I found the one I was looking for in skymall.com.  This is called ‘The Original Sleep Sound Generator’ and costs $56 bucks.  If you can’t find it on the Sky Mall page, type in ‘sleep’ and it should come up.  I used to use one of these near my daughter’s crib, when we lived in town, and she slept like a baby.  Haha.   I know $56 bucks can be a lot but if white noise can give you a peaceful sleep then perhaps it’s worth it, or saving up for it.  Both my son, Calen Pick who suffers from schizoaffective disorder, and I, are completely sold on how a good night’s sleep helps our mood.  After traveling, or any other stressful activity, a ten hour or more sleep is perfectly acceptable.  I lived with ‘sleep guilt’ in reaction to others, who are not mentally ill, making rude remarks about me sleeping too long.  Luckily, I only live with my three dogs now and they couldn’t care less how long I sleep unless sleeping impacts their breakfast.  If I’m asleep two hours passed their breakfast time I feel their 12 little paws stomping on me.  But they’re always so happy when I do get up that they make me happy that I am up!

Now back to bears.  The night after I wrote the first page of this blog, the dogs kept me up until 3:30AM!  There was SOMETHING outside, something they wouldn’t stop barking at.  They’d come in the house, quiet down for a while, then be up and barking again.  A bear?  Deer come into my yard almost every night but they would have fled when the dogs charged through the dog door.  A bear, a moose or a mountain lion are the only three animals I can imagine who would be out there.  At one point I grabbed my trusty huge flashlight and panned all corners of the yard.  A raccoon maybe?  A porcupine?  I just don’t know.

But autumn is here.  The animals who gather food at this time of year, are here.  Walking on crunchy leaves, smelling crisp air, wildlife intent on fattening up, all of it, is here.  Enjoy!