Emilie’s Story

When I was in 2nd grade my parents began to fight daily. When I was in 4th my classmates decided that I was a lesbian(I am gay; but I wasn’t out then) and harassed me daily for a long time. When I was in 6th grade I started restricting my food and became scared of eating; I lost a scary amount of weight - thankfully I eventually self recovered. I also started self harming in 6th grade.

And all the while all this was happening, through the fights of my parents and my outed sexual identity, harassment and semi-eating disorder I began to become more and more anxious.  It started while my parents were fighting with irritability and an upset stomach - through high school it progressed to weekly panic attacks, not being able to keep my lunch down or even eat breakfast. My parents knew but thought I was doing “it” for “attention”.

I ended up running into the school mental health counselor in the rest room while I was having a panic attack, in my sophomore year of HS. She freaked and said “OMG ARE YOU OKAY?” and I was like “Ohh yeah… Just a panic attack”, calmly and sweetly as I could. I didn’t know then that she was the school therapist but she disclaimed it to me and let me hang out in her office for a couple hours. She called my parents and told them and despite still thinking that I was “doing it for attention” my parents let me see her as a client.

Slowly and slowly I’m getting better. I’m seeing a therapist weekly and am on medication (which I  personally requested and which was not pushed on me by big pharma). I’ve stopped self harming, I have a healthy relationship with food and I’m less and less anxious. I’m starting my first year of college this fall studying Women’s’ Studies and Psychology and I’m currently spending my free time volunteering, exercising and doing yoga.

Every day is a struggle but I’m living proof that anxiety disorders, self harm, and eating problems can get better.