John’s Story

My family has endured the “cruelest of April Fools jokes”, when we received the phone call at 2:30 am from our daughter in 2009.  She informed us our son Cody was at the hospital in intensive care on a ventilator with a collapsed lung after the police arrested him. His crime?  He had his “First Psychotic Break”, ran from the police because he thought they were going to kill him, only after HE stopped a police car and asked to be “taken to jail”.  His previously undiagnosed paranoid schizophrenia caused him to fear for his life – he panicked – he tried to save his own life.

The collateral damage mental illness has on a family is almost incalculable.  When Geralyn and I were going through the “Crisis of our lives”, she turned to her sister, begging for help.  We didn’t know anything about mental illness, had no clue how to navigate the legal system in Arizona and struggled to “get our son back”. Worse than all of this, Geralyn’s sister took offense to being challenged by us to do more - “What should I do, bring a casserole”.  Our response was simply this:  “If we don’t know how to do mental illness right, you’re going to have to give us a hall pass."

We were met with hate and then she recruited her entire family (brothers and sister) to “divorce” us.  Geralyn’s mother – Cody’s grandmother – divorced us as well.  The stigma of a mental illness I suppose is too hard to overcome – even for family. “Maybe Cody should keep his nose clean and fly straight,'  Geralyn’s brother said.  Cody did not choose this – he’s not a weak person.  He has a mental disorder that has changed his life forever.  I recall pleading with the Judge that “Cody has a life sentence”.  The Arizona Judge decided 30 days in jail was justified for his aggravated assault charges – that were refused to be dropped by the Maricopa County prosecutor.

The truth is, I am so very proud of my Son Cody.  He has endured such great suffering, been in jail, lost all his friends (every one of
them), his cousins, Aunts and Uncles (from Geralyn’s side of the family) have left him in the dust.  He has no one – only his Mom, Dad, Brother and Sister.  He has no insight into his illness and we work hard each day to care for him.