Marcia’s Story

I am the mother of a beautiful 21 yr old son. I want to write a few words about mental illness and the awkward isolation that can come with it. My son was diagnosed with OCD when he was 17. It’s been a long, hard few years and I want to express my gratitude to the lovely friends and family who have been by our side throughout these difficult years and also to express my concern for the many people who have either dropped out of our lives or, even more disturbing, have turned our situation into gossip. My son is not a mental case. He has a mental illness called OCD. He is also ridiculously funny, smart, empathetic, handsome and kind. When someone is given a diagnosis of diabetes or cancer, most family and friends rally around and give support. The person they knew before the diagnosis is still the same person, only now dealing with a very difficult situation. When you say your son has OCD, people tend to become quiet or embarrassed. Some look at your son as if he has completely morphed into someone else, looking for unstableness. We are the same people we were before the diagnosis, only now we find ourselves being harshly judged, even blamed, for the disorder. We are struggling, at times, under the weight of OCD but we are also having fun, laughing, loving, hugging, having good food and good conversation around our kitchen table.

After going through a very tough summer last year, doing intensive OCD treatment and realizing that college will have to go on hold for now, my son is living at home. He’s working a little and otherwise just healing from the past few years. Where will he be in a year or two? Who knows, he might still be living here at home. Not what he expected or wants but nevertheless might, in fact, be where he is. Will that make people uncomfortable? Will they shy away from him, as some are doing now? I hope not, for their sake. They would be missing out on all of those great conversations and the gentleness and humor of my son.

I applaud my son’s courage. Not only is he meeting the challenges of OCD but he is also navigating the difficult stigma of it as well. In the meantime he has many lovely people by his side along the way.