Sonja’s Story

I am a woman with Schizophrenia. It is hard for me to tell friends and love interests that I am sick, because I am afraid that others would judge me poorly. In the media and on the soap operas, they portray people with mental illness as devious, dangerous, manipulative, liars, schemers, or as vilains and monsters. Most people with mental illness keep to themselves and do not want to be a threat or a burden to anyone. Sometimes when I hear voices or get delusional, my suffering isn't reflected at anyone else but me.

I have been to therapists and psychiatrists, some good some bad. The small few, have a monopoly going. I feel like there is a shortage in my community of medical professionals trained to deal with mental illness. Trying to reach a psychiatrist after hours is impossible. People aren't just sick during the day time. Also, many emergency room staff do not know anything about anti-psychotic meds, as there are a big variety to choose from. I have had many bad reactions to the meds i'm given that can be deadly. Some doctors prescribe you something new, and send you home with very serious meds to swallow, with no emergency back up team.      

Zyprexa is a medication that I have been able to tolerate. My side effects are heavy sedation, irregular period, dry mouth, and large weight gain that caused me to become diabetic. I have a choice to take this pill or not to take it, but it is the only one that will keep my sanity. When I first became sick, a variety of meds were forced on me. The mentally ill, including myself, need to feel loved, wanted, and valuable, also credible. The majority of the time, I'm "normal" because I take my meds regularly. Most people would not know that I have any problems at all. There are many different levels of sickness, mental illness is never cookie cutter equal. I am fortunate to be blessed with a family that loves me and for the people that have hung around me that like me for who I am.